Strongly disagree. I have a light load dex character that mains gauntlets and a heavy build faith character that mains the great hammer. Both do well with charged attacks, assuming you have the opening. I’m more likely to trade with the hammer if they aren’t stunned, but that just means being patient or strategic enough to create the openings or enough health gain to not care. The 2H hammer has a great dashing spin attack that does good stagger though it stopped outright stunning smaller enemies around level 18-20.
2H Bonk has just been way too over powered in most soulslikes due to stagger locking everything. I think the current combat works well. But I think that experience drastically changes depending on how well a character is speced. Not enough stamina, health, or armor, and you’re going to struggle.
My favorite bow is the Siren’s Song, and my favorite 2H is the Claymore. I should be clear, I don’t use these on the same character and wouldn’t recommend it due to the stat requirements. I use the Siren’s Song on my Dex only character and the Claymore on my Str only character.
If you’re using the Claymore, I’ll give you a tip. The first charged attack is very slow and requires the best timing, but the second charged attack is deceptively fast and can be used to great effect in the middle of an engagement with an enemy. A lot of the time I still open up each combat with the first charged attack, because it has great range and it hits like a truck. But if I’m already mid-combat with an enemy and I need to be faster, I do a normal first attack and then charge my second attack and hit them with it. The second charge attack is a stab forward, has decent range, and is much faster to execute than the first charged attack. Also, it will still often do enough Stagger damage that you will cancel out the enemy’s attack if you hit them first (which you probably will, because it’s so fast to execute).
I hope you’re able to find some fun with the charged attack after all. As I said before, it’s definitely not perfect, but I think it’s not useless either.
These are also my favorite weapons for those stats, so I guess the problem is me? The dodge attack on the siren’s call is amazing and I love shooting 3 arrows per shot, but the charge attack just feels worse than spamming 3 basic attacks in the same time frame.
I will say I do like the Summer’s Sting greatsword, but that’s a split stat weapon with no charge attack so it’s an entirely different build again. Still, I find myself just shoulder charging and spamming regular attacks. Something about the charge attacks just feels . . . wrong?
If you are saying that the charge attacks on the exact weapons I mainly use are trivializing bosses for you while those very same charge attacks always get me killed, the problem has to be me? I don’t know what I really need to see to make those attacks feel better, but I suppose I should just not do things that are not fun to me and stop complaining about it, when it’s clearly just my playstyle that differs. After all, the dodge attacks do feel good. I’ll just stop chasing a dream that is never gonna come true. 
I’ll give them a try, but if I’m really the problem then I’m just cursed to never use the slow-but-heavy playstyle. Maybe I’ll find the golden goose and finally fall in love with a nice, heavy charge attack, or maybe I just have to accept that I can only play the death-by-a-thousand-cuts style. 
Or there’s some other secret I’m missing, and I’m just an idiot. 
I mean, really, there’s no reason to feel bad. For the longest time, I could never play the slow and heavy play style in any games. It really can be a learning curve.
For some more details, in case you’re still dedicated to learning this play style, on the Claymore my stats are tuned so that my Str is literally as high as possible and my Health and Stamina are literally just enough to last how long most any combat would take for me. With bosses, I rely on Food to make it through, since my HP and Stam aren’t stellar enough to carry me.
I also engage pretty much every non-boss enemy from pretty far away. Sometimes I open with a couple of dash swings, then charge up and hit them to finish them off. Also, my Poise Defense on my gear is so good that I might take a hit or two during these openers and still get my charge attack off. Lastly, because my gear has some Regainable HP on it, I usually end the fight with full health again even if I took a few hits.
Sorry the fantasy isn’t working out for you. I hope it does eventually! Even if it means there’s large adjustments to charge attacks, because you’re far from the only person to complain about it. I’m in the far and away minority, from what I can tell.
I wanted to make a charge attack build as well. If it’s not a fast charge attack, like on the one halberd that has it, it can feel lack luster. Heavily investing in stagger though makes it shine. That means finding a blunt facet and adding the 6 poise damage gem. Then stagger regens a ton of stamina through the 40 stamina on stagger plague enchant, especially combined with 30% stagger damage increase on kill. You still get the stamina if a kill would stagger. This allows you to stagger with regular attacks and then finish safely with a charge attack. Some of the bigger enemies stare at you at first, giving you a big window to open with a charge attack, stagger with a regular follow up, and then finish with a charged attack, assuming the weapon allows for it. Using plate, you don’t really need the increased poise defense while charging. You would think the strength weapons would be good candidates, but I haven’t been impressed with their movesets sadly. Also note that staggering allows for a back stab on a lot of enemies.