Are you and your mates on different continents? Does the lag persist if you enter by yourself and select a region closer to you? I can reassure you that no one is nor ever will be ‘attacking your ping’, and that the expression makes no sense to begin with.
You won’t experience network lag in a local realm. Technically, you are not the host of shared realms (a server is; you might be an admin). Wicked’s netcode works by sending everyone’s inputs to be processed on everyone’s computers (rather than sending game states), so your computer is simulating the actions of up to four people.
You could try some of the fixes suggested in this topic and related ones (including checking for corrupted files, flushing DNS, changing Steam server ping frequency, changing/disabling VPN):